From the WSJ Opinion Archives

by JAMES TARANTO
Friday, November 17, 2006 1:34 P.M. EST

Everyday Low Prices
John Edwards is mulling another presidential run two years hence. The Lesser Kedward styles himself an economic populist, which means that he's a zillionaire trial lawyer who is centering his campaign on attacking Wal-Mart, where millions of ordinary Americans shop. Stuff like this makes almost explicable the Democrats' decision to nominate that goofball with the Purple Heart bandages the last time around.

Anyway, a Wal-Mart press release accuses Edwards of hypocrisy:

Just like the millions of Americans who turn to their neighborhood Wal-Mart for their holiday shopping needs, Wal-Mart announced today that former Sen. John Edwards is seeking to be one of the first to get a Sony PlayStation3, one of the most coveted holiday gift items this Christmas season.

Yesterday, a staff person for former Sen. Edwards contacted a Wal-Mart electronics manager in Raleigh, North Carolina to obtain a Sony PlayStation3 on behalf of the Senator's family. Later that night, Sen. Edwards reportedly re-told a homespun story to participants of a United Food and Commercial Workers (UFCW) union-sponsored call about how his son had chided a fellow student for purchasing shoes at Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart welcomes Sen. Edwards to visit his local Wal-Mart store and explore the extensive line of home electronics as well as the Metro7 line shoes for men and boys.

The Company noted the PlayStation3 is an extremely popular item this Christmas season, and while the rest of America's working families are waiting patiently in line, Senator Edwards wants to cut to the front. While, we cannot guarantee that Sen. Edwards will be among one of the first to obtain a PlayStation3, we are certain Sen. Edwards will be able to find great gifts for everyone on his Christmas list--many at Wal-Mart's "roll-back prices."

Don't worry, though, there is an explanation! From the Associated Press:

Edwards said a volunteer did so by mistake.

Edwards told The Associated Press that the volunteer "feels terrible" about seeking the game unit at Wal-Mart a day after his boss criticized the company, saying it doesn't treat its employees fairly.

"My wife, Elizabeth, wanted to get a Playstation3 for my young children. She mentioned it in front of one of my staff people," Edwards said. "That staff person mentioned it in front of a volunteer who said he would make an effort to get one. He was making an effort to go get one for himself.

"Elizabeth and I knew nothing about this. He feels terrible about this. He made a mistake, and he knows he should not have used my name," Edwards said.

Edwards said the volunteer was "a young kid" unaware of what he called flawed Wal-Mart policies.

So have a little sympathy for the populist John Edwards. After all, these days good unpaid child labor is hard to find.

Meet the Old Boss, Same as the Old Boss
House Republicans have elected their leaders for the 110th Congress. Majority Leader John Boehner beat Rep. Mike Pence to become minority leader, and Majority Whip Roy Blunt defeated Rep. John Shadegg for the post of minority whip. Neither race was even close: Boehner prevailed 168-27, with a single vote going to Rep. Joe Barton, and Blunt's margin was a closer but still-comfy 147-57.

Some argued that the GOP would have been better off dumping the Boehner-Blunt "old guard" in favor of the "reformists" Pence and Shadegg. But hey, who better to lead the GOP minority than the men who helped create it?

Murtha the Magic Bullet
The New York Sun's Daniel Freedman has a laugh at the expense of Speaker-designate Nancy Pelosi, who says of her colleague John Murtha:

I was proud to support him for majority leader, because I thought that would be the best way to bring an end to the war in Iraq.

Yeah, right--the mere sight of Murtha as majority leader would have caused the enemy in Iraq to surrender. Or it would have caused our side to surrender. Whatever!

On Wednesday--the day before losing the vote to Steny Hoyer--Murtha appeared on MSNBC's "Hardball" with Chris Matthews, and he seemed confident. Perhaps, in retrospect, overconfident:

Matthews: Are you going to win?

Murtha: We're going to win, we've got the votes.

Matthews: You've got them?

Murtha: We've got the votes.

Matthews: Eyeball to eyeball, you've got them?

Murtha: Eyeball to eyeball.

We blame Diebold! Or ES&S! Same difference!

Blogger Don Surber argues that Pelosi actually won by losing:

Democrats are not stupid. They unanimously elected Nancy Pelosi House speaker beginning Jan. 3 and picked Steny Hoyer as their runner-up. Incredibly, Reuters reported this as Pelosi's "first setback."

Huh?

Give me the setback of becoming Speaker of the House.

Murtha still lurks as her right-hand man, but unofficially, which gives Pelosi the best of both worlds. She keeps the Kos Kids happy, but avoids all that Drain the Swamp mess.

Smart move by Pelosi and the Democrats.

But Mickey Kaus disagrees:

Pelosi's "big win": That Democratic leadership race is no big deal! In a few weeks virtually everyone will have forgotten about the Pelosi-vs.-Hoyer dustup. Except Pelosi! Here's the most telling paragraph in today's excellent Romano/Weisman Washington Post report:

For the most part, lawmakers, Hill aides and some outside advisers -- even some close to her -- say they are at a loss to explain why Pelosi has held a grudge for so long, because she clearly has the upper hand as leader of the House Democrats. They suggest that part of what rankles her is that Hoyer is not beholden to her and feels no compulsion to publicly agree with her on every issue. This, allies say, she sees as a sign of disloyalty. [E.A.]

Wow. What about 149 people who publicly disagree with her? [More than 'disagree'--ed Defy!] ... 2:46 P.M.

We suppose Hill Republicans can take some small comfort that Democrats are even more ridiculous than they are. Very small comfort, though, given that the voters appear not to agree.

Women Were Silent Until Now
"Pelosi Makes History as Female Speaker"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!
"He's a Republican, I'm a Democrat, we work together on issues that are important to the state of Nevada. And I wish other people had the same nonaggression pact we have. It's not a 'Brokeback Mountain' situation."--Sen. Harry Reid, describing his relationship with Sen. John Ensign, quoted by the Associated Press, Nov. 15

In His Defense, He's Just Like Hitler
It's a sick twist on the most depressing and sensational story of the 1990s. O.J. Simpson has a new book out called "If I Did It." By some accounts there's a subtitle, "Here's How It Happened," though it doesn't seem to appear on the book cover. The "it," of course, is the brutal 1994 murder of Simpson's former wife, Nicole, and innocent bystander Ron Goldman. The New York Times has more:

The publisher of a book by O. J. Simpson, in which he hypothesizes about how he could have committed the 1994 murder of his ex-wife and her friend, said on Thursday that she believed Mr. Simpson's statements were, in fact, a confession.

"The book is his confession," the publisher, Judith Regan, said during a telephone interview. "I would have had no interest in publishing anything but that." . . .

Ms. Regan also wrote that she believed it was her responsibility as a publisher to bring Mr. Simpson's words to the public, and she likened her role to "the mainstream publishers who keep Adolf Hitler's 'Mein Kampf' in print to this day."

In her phone interview she said: "I think this confession is a historic part of an event that needed closure. We are all in the publishing business, and our business is to tell stories about what is going on. This is a news event."

This is the first time we can remember someone defending someone by likening him to Hitler.

Rovean Slip
How powerful is Karl Rove? Maybe not powerful enough to win elections anymore, but still powerful enough to control the minds of politicians 10,000 miles away, as the Australian Broadcast Corp. reports:

Federal Labor Leader Kim Beazley has attempted to express sympathy for Rove McManus ahead of today's funeral for his wife Belinda Emmett. . . .

Before he addressed a union conference today, Mr Beazley expressed his sympathy, but used the name of the controversial US politician instead of the Australian television host.

"Today our thoughts and the thoughts of many, many Australians will be with Karl Rove as he goes through the very sad process of burying his beloved wife," Mr Beazley said.

Rove's spell on the Democrats might have been broken last Tuesday, but he's still a powerful influence on the left in Australia.

So a Guy Walks Into a Bar and Gets Shot
"Authorities Seek Gunman After Victim Shot by Bar"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), Nov. 15

Or at Least Draw a Mustache on It
"Senators Urged to Add Teeth to FDA Bill"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

The Group Calls Itself 'Third Thursday in November'
"Turkey Fears New Homegrown Terror Threat"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

It Doesn't Get a Lot of Repeat Business, Though
"Youth Suicide Program Works: Study"--headline, Australian, Nov. 17

Rock Me Amadeus
"Falco Named Chairman, CEO of AOL Unit"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

This Seems an Odd Pick
"Civil Rights Institute to Honor Cotton"--headline, Birmingham (Ala.) News, Nov. 17

News You Can Use
"Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love"--headline, FoxNews.com, Nov. 16

Bottom Stories of the Day

  • "Ricky Martin Not Joining Adoption Craze"--headline, United Press International, Nov. 16

  • "Area Avoids Tornado"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), Nov. 17

  • "Library Says It Hasn't Received Patriot Act Requests"--headline, Daily Princetonian (Princeton University), Nov. 17

Carnal Knowledge
A Wisconsin man is charged with having his way with a deer, but he claims it was just venison, the Superior Daily Telegram reports:

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

The Smoking Gun has Hathaway's mug shot and a copy of the complaint, which states:

Defining animal to include carcasses would lead to absurd results. At what point of decompose would the carcass cease being an animal? Would picked-over skeletal remains still meet the definition? At death, an animal ceases to be an animal. As Billy Crystal noted in The Princess Bride (1987), "There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead."

The Telegram quotes Judge Michael Lucci, who is considering the motion: "I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case." Yeah, we're sure this sort of thing comes up all the time up there.

(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Dave Undis, Peter Bentley, Jonathan Henry, Ed Lasky, Ted Johnson, Lawrence Weiss, Jim Orheim, Michael Napier, Mark Rasnake, Edward Tannen, Nell Jonas, Dave Wheeler, Douglas Miller, Michael Newton, Steve Bartin, Adam Cahn, Biff Gaut, John Williamson, Mark Schulze, Leon Polyakov, Alex Robson, Pearse Frazier, John Whetstone, Kyle Kyllan, Rhonda Cisneros, Dan O'Shea, Joseph Tully, Matthew Bridges, Scott Speagle, Charles Ogden, Rod Pennington, Steve Shineman, C.E. Dobkin, Matthew Noonan and Dan Kelly. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)

Today on OpinionJournal:

  • Review & Outlook: Milton Friedman, the man who made free markets popular again.
  • Daniel Henninger: Twenty-five years later, Reagan's tax cuts are a global tide.
  • Peggy Noonan: Republicans and Democrats adjust to last week's power shift.
  • The Journal Editorial Report: Tune in this weekend for a discussion of immigration and the Mideast, plus a tribute to Milton Friedman.

And on the Taste page:

Click to email this article EMAIL THIS Click to format this article for printing FORMAT FOR PRINTING
ARCHIVE